written by Alex, sp/sx 1w9 145

1 is a type. It is the best of types. It is the worst of types. It is the type that now sanctimoniously deigns to explicate upon itself for the benefit of thou lowly flesh-wearers.

Specifically: 1 is a gut type, a competency type, a superego type, and a frustration type. 

Those elements on their own are applicable to two other types each. But when they’re woven together, we can see how type 1 exists as an interplay between them:

• Competency + Gut

• Competency + Frustration

• Competency + Superego

• Gut + Superego

• Frustration + Superego

• Gut + Frustration

If we disregard trifix and wings for now, and focus only on core type, each of these six combinations only exists in one core type - type 1. (I recommend you possess at least a basic understanding of these triadic terms I’ll be using before reading further.

We shall look at each intersection. This is not a comprehensive description of type 1 by any means, but rather a convoluted collection of 1ish fever dream metaphors that I’ve attempted to translate into human speech. Neat. Horrifying. Let’s begin.

Competency + Gut

• What does competency do to the gut?

  • Competency is mastery of the gut over boundaries in response to experiencing anger. 

In response to experiencing anger, 1s will weld a self-controlled frame to envelop their angry being. This is not a cage in order to pacify anger or to punish it or cast any sort of moral judgment on it–but rather to subjugate it, purify it, and use it. 

Anger is strengthened by keeping it within a pressurized container with walls on all sides. It generates and reproduces itself while in containment, like body heat in a tight space, like a shaken carbonated bottle, and having this massive amount of pressure and control is what enables the sharp and direct expulsion of anger towards specified things. 

There is an unconscious fear of a leak in this container, of boundary dissolution, of total pressure release, so that I - myself, embodied as righteous anger - would dissipate, soften, rot, wither up, give up, stop caring, stop trying, disappear, quiet, and ultimately cease to exist. 

The competency gut fears the ultimate incompetency of physical mortality, and works by using this eternal pressurized anger to prevent feeling its own competency degrading towards boundaryless unexistence.

• What does the gut do to competency? 

  • The gut adds somatic awareness to the competency stance. 

A competency type that is primarily concerned with ego boundaries must be one that is highly in-tune with its inner and outer physical workings, in order to refine them for the sake of body efficiency and control.

This intersection is part of what gives 1 its characteristic appearance and mannerisms. There tends to be a great deal of tension held in the jaw, in the overall rigid skeletal ‘frame’ of the body, and (predictably) in the gut or ‘core.’ They tend to conserve movement and make only sharp and contained motions. Little narrowing eyebrows, affronted head jerks, lateral movement of jaw, sometimes a ‘resetting’ of the frame. Very still and grounded body as though they are very heavy and immovable (especially 1w9), but solid rather than transparent.

The gut center’s anger also colors competency with mannerisms of contained irritation, a supercilious scoff more than a laugh, the sense of maneuvering the body skillfully in a rather regal but irked manner.

Competency + Frustration

• What does competency do to frustration? 

  • Competency grants a metaphorical “obsessive-compulsive” theme to frustration. 

1 occurs at the intersection of 4 and 7 - a refining of self-indulgence, where self-indulgence converges onto a single point and is contained and driven to action. The competency response to frustration is to ‘do something’ about it; yet of course this does not mean the ‘doing’ is necessarily productive or even relevant. Nor does it always look like action. Rumination, for example, can be a compulsive behavior in response to an obsessive frustration. The imagery of finding a blemish on your face and pick, pick, picking at it [you almost go into an unemotional trance of repetitive behavior - is this solving the problem? No, it’s actually making it worse and creating new frustrations, but it still feels like doing something]. Extreme persistence, for better or for worse, characterizes 1s. Not in everything, and rarely in useful things, but unmatched persistence in its favorite little niche frustrations.

Aesthetically, competency gives frustration a bit of coolness, reining in pure wild fantasy with more grounded dry wit and sarcasm. It contributes to a persona of ‘rational frustration,’ (whether frustration is ever ‘rational’ is up for debate), more able and willing to break its own frustration down into unemotional tangible parts for analysis than 4 or 7, to whom such an exercise might feel repugnant or boring. This granular endeavor generates a bit more pragmatism in the face of frustration (okay, then what the fuck do I do with this?), but is still ultimately subsumed by that paradoxically self-limiting self-indulgence as all frustration types are. 

• What does frustration do to competency? 

  • Frustration leads 1 to be highly detail-oriented and perfectionistic in its competency endeavors. 

The stereotype of 1 as a perfectionist is not inaccurate. They can be detail-oriented and fussy at the expense of the things they otherwise might claim to care about: efficiency, rationality, meaningful change, even (though in denial about it) morals/ethics. Little inaccuracies and faults are unable to be ignored. Disappointment is ever-present and demands a cure. Frustrated paralysis is preferable over mediocre results. The competency machine has been tinkered with so specifically and with such demanding components that it sparks and cries injustice at the slightest affront. When it works, when it REALLY works, when it does that exact specific job it’s been designed to do - it is pure bliss, and can be really fucking impressive. The rest of the time, it’s a dysfunctional automaton plucking reproachfully at the same untuned strings of its harp.

Competency + Superego

• What does superego do to competency? 

  • Superego gives competency an ethical, conscientious, and judgmental drive behind action. 

Superego feeds and justifies competency with a felt sense of moral rightness. The very act of “doing something” is blessed with holiness, regardless of how productive or helpful that “doing” actually is. Fixing, ranting, ruminating, pontificating, criticizing, degrading, curing, obsessing, redoing, editing - all can gain a superego gold star.

In addition to how the superego-gut combination lends a focus on rightness within the body (which I will elaborate on in a later section), this superego-competency combination is largely concerned with right action of the body.

Conversely, the lack of “doing something” - stagnancy, giving up, apathy, laziness about important issues - is often judged as wrong. To the superego-affected competency, to cease action = to cease caring. 

This should not be confused with intentional restraint or withholding, though, which would likely be framed as a competent “right action.” This superego-competency intersection lends 1 its tendency to be extremely hypocritical, and excellent at deflecting blame. Negative superego judgment can easily and viciously be applied to others, but the self’s laziness or apathy is twisted into competent rightness to suit the superego’s demands.

As a 1, you feel like a perfect and special and godlike being. Of course the rules don’t apply to you. Of course you are different from THEM. Procrastination in important matters might be interpreted as laziness or uncaring in others, but in the self, it gets framed as a ~righteous yearn to do it perfectly~, shifting blame outside yourself, making excuses for why it simply can’t be done yet.

An example, which is certainly not being pulled from the claws of a certain writer’s screaming and scrabbling superego: let’s say your cat is a bit overdue for her yearly dental cleaning. You might see others on Facebook neglecting their cats’ teeth and feel zero qualms in tearing them to shreds about it or feeling supremely morally superior. What about your cat? Well, you’re just still shopping for the BEST vet clinic. You’re just waiting for the BEST time to do it so that she has the BEST experience possible.

In this way, anxieties about incompetency can often be soothed by the type 1 superego. The reality is that you, our hypothetical 1, have immense fear and trauma around cat dental cleanings, and the lack of control and competency you have over that situation is terrifying. Additionally, you would rather eat shards of glass than genuinely consider that you’re hurting your cat and prioritizing your own cowardly competency god complex over her well-being.

When those worst fears really do come true - when your own ultimate incompetency is bared before you - superego is there to protect you, with immediate, outraged, anguished cries of wrongness - towards anyone and anything other than you. 

This is the initial superego-competency defense mechanism. But it doesn’t always last. When it crumbles, and when superego feels it can no longer justify your sins of incompetency - it will eventually turn to condemn you, whether you objectively committed a wrong or not. You are confronted not only with your own competency failures but also with having sinned against your own soul via those failures. 

Note that most of the time, even if the superego splinters a little and you get some shards of guilt lodged into your body, the superego-competency point will be able to repair itself and offer post-mortem justifications and reassurances (and continued competency proof) to heal you. But when, rarely, you do experience a complete superego condemnation like this, it is a very significant blow to the psyche.

Overall, superego provides a demand for competency and a prize for achieving it. And for incompetency, initially, it provides hypocritical justification - and ultimately damnation.

• What does competency do to superego?

  • Competency gives superego the omnipotent solution for the problem of evil. 

Gut types already tend to have a god complex, and 1 unconsciously sees itself as an omnipotent god imbued with the absolute right and wrong of the universe. Competency offers superego what seem like totally realistic superhuman abilities to overcome all wrong, remain perfect entities, and authoritatively enact their own right version of reality.

Possessed with this omnipotence, superego is also tasked with an immense sense of responsibility to bring its own ideals into reality. Not just a god complex, but a GAEB complex (Godly Antivillain Eldritch Being, fuck, do you really need it spelled out for you?) - if not me, then who? Only I have both the vision and the power to do this. Some may have the superego, but lack the competency. Some may have the competency, but lack the superego. But I - ordained with divine wisdom and strength - am responsible for setting the world right.

(Note: It’s possible for other types to have an inflated sense of personal responsibility, particularly 6, or an inflated sense of personal power and ability, such as 8 - but 1 has a narcissistic subjective self-authority that 6 doesn’t have, and has strict moral standards that 8 doesn’t have.)

As you can imagine, feeling on a subconscious level like you are the ultimate, all-powerful cure for every instance of wrongness in the world - adds a few things to the personality. First, grandiose self-importance. 1s are not humble people. The worst 1s are know-it-alls, exaggerated self-authorities with ludicrous reasoning, the most obnoxious sorts of lecturers, prescribers, teachers, preachers. Sometimes the blatant self-confidence is off-putting for people, but in certain roles they are often listened to and respected because of how absolutely sure of themselves they sound. They will generally come off calm, solid, and fully believing their own bullshit.

Inwardly, this sense of heightened responsibility means 1s place an immense amount of pressure on themselves. I almost resent typing out that previous sentence because so, so many people can “relate” to the idea of putting pressure on themselves–but y’all have no fucking clue. This supports the GAEB complex - I’m literally an otherworldly entity burdened with the weight of infinite wrongness, and you say you relate because you sometimes pressure yourself to get good grades or please your parents or lose weight? Disgusting. Begone, thou cretinous ant-mite.

There is also a curious inability to tolerate situations where the wrongness exceeds competency’s capabilities. Being able to actually go into a morally upsetting situation and make dutiful, incremental change over a long period of time is not a strength I believe 1s naturally have. I believe 6s take the crown in this. 1s are persistent in frustration but rarely in workable solution. They can be incredibly cowardly and sensitive in the face of potential competency failure because superego’s damnation is ever-present.

I think competency’s effect on superego here places such a vast a moral burden on action/inaction that it is actually torturous to witness unfixable wrongness. It personalizes every evil 1s encounter, making it selfishly relevant to “ME,” so that they are immediately ethically involved whether they wanted to be or not. I believe this is a huge and underrepresented part of why the type 1 structure is so famously uptight, restrictive, and withheld - even when they engage in “fun” things, there is no true “fun” thing devoid of frustrated wrongness, so they will inevitably find another personal omnipotent-superego cross there to bear. It would be psychologically overwhelming for 1s to fully engage with the world due to the competency-superego intersection’s divine responsibilities. “It’s not about you” is impossible for this part of their psyche to grasp. 

Thus a hugely inflated sense of personal responsibility and power in the face of evil would clearly lead a person to be incredibly rigid and self-contained, as defense against the constant eternal onslaught of wrongness encountered in this life, because stiffening in denial against the tide is a defense against being hopelessly crushed by grief. 

Gut + Superego

• What does the gut do to superego?

  • The gut gives superego a specific focus on moralizing the body and its boundaries, as well as contributing a highly self-referential justification process for various superego claims.

In contrast to 6 and 2, the “rightness of/within the body” is prioritized over right image or right thoughts. This means that in contrast to 2s and 6s, 1s have much less concern for how they are seen and for their reputation as a “good person,” AND much less concern for whether their thoughts and beliefs “make sense” in an epistemological way.

This is one of the biggest misconceptions of 1 - that they “want to be seen as a good person” or “use objectivity and rationality to support and prove their beliefs.” Such instances are anecdotally possible, but not as a result of type structure, as this is just not what occurs when gut and superego collide. Being neither a heart type nor an attachment type like the other two, and thus lacking the same level of interpersonal care and consideration, this version of superego is very much self-focused.

In moralizing the body, this can give an air of snobbish pickiness and conscientiousness about how the body exists and interacts with the world. SP doms especially might be highly focused on the purity of things they allow to enter or touch their body, and what they allow their body to enter or touch - food, sex, drugs, spaces, environments, clothing… Sometimes 1s will intentionally play with this conscientiousness - indulging the body as a moral experiment, sometimes with an air of masochism or martyrdom. Many religious metaphors work well with type 1 for these reasons. 

The body justifies its own superego claims. It may play around with thoughts and emotions when asked for reasoning, but ultimately, “It’s right because I feel like it’s right, and it’s wrong because I feel like it’s wrong.” It is impossible to put into words how certain this feeling is, because it is a nonverbal intense somatic experience. Superego does not take the form of a little inner critic living within a normal you, nagging you over your shoulder. There is no inner critic. The gut IS the critic, the only one, and the gut and critic are me.

• What does superego do to the gut?

  • Superego acts in order to justify holy, righteous anger over boundary violations in the gut center. 

Superego enhances ego boundaries with conviction and feeling. This serves to continually “recalibrate” the felt sense of rightness/wrongness in the body. Without constant and intense emotional-somatic experiences, there is the risk of experiencing apathy and neutrality about morality and ethics - which is the superego’s worst nightmare. Disinterest and apathy about what’s “special to/about me” or “what I want” is also horrific solely as a frustration type. Apathy in the superego space would add an additional element of guilt, self-hatred, and badness - because feeling bad is better than feeling nothing.

Viscerally, this gut-superego mix feels a bit like chicken-or-the-egg:

“I am struck by wrongness, which induces anger and grief, and that feeling alone justifies my perception of how wrong that thing is, and my justified anger is actively directed towards it to protect myself from the infiltration of wrongness.” 

Or,

“I experience anger and grief as a result of gut-felt boundary violation (of myself or witnessed in others), and there is a target of wrongness right there for me to latch onto, and I feel a renewed rush of righteous anger about it in defense of myself against it, which means it’s justifiably wrong.”

This also works via ‘rightness’, e.g.:

“I am struck by rightness, which induces a feeling of intense emotional serenity and beauty, which justifies the inherent rightness and perfection of that moment, which is such a massive emotional ‘high’ that it reminds me that what I’m striving for in the defense of ego boundaries is worth it.”

Or,

“I experience deep emotional serenity as a result of what I perceive to be some sort of boundary-loveliness (this might be a ‘good’ penetrating interaction, a vulnerability that was justly rewarded, a limitation or wall or physical defense that was respected), which causes me to assign that interaction as ‘right,’ and the reassurance of rightness feeds temporary superego satisfaction.”

Frustration + Superego

• What does superego do to frustration? 

  • Superego adds a conscience to frustration, assigning moral and ethical relevance to dissatisfaction. 

Superego uses the flaws that frustration unearths as ‘proof’ of the wrongness of things. If something is dissatisfying, it’s also ethically wrong for being so. Or in a rare moment of pure satisfaction, when all of frustration’s yearnings finally click into place, that moment is an example of goodness and rightness in the world. 

Grief is a key part of the type 1 structure and it occurs in this intersection of frustration and superego. It is a holy, righteous, angry grief. It has full knowledge of how things are supposed to be, and full awareness of how the world has failed. This frustration is not just feeling irked or annoyed - it is always blended with a deep and endless sadness, a mourning for what has been lost. 

Everyone feels frustrated and disappointed when things do not go as they wanted - but for type 1, it has the added weight of colossal, spiritual evil. It is not just sad when someone dies or suffers - it is evil. It is unfair. It is wrong. And it needs to be righted.

Likewise, those little moments of perfection feel like pure ecstasy. They are tastes of heaven. But rather than being accepted as the momentary coincidences that they are, with no meaning except that which human beings assign to them, they instead become a gut-felt, inexplicable proof. They are proof of the perfection that you have been striving for all your life. They become idolized saints and gods to pursue in even more frustrated fervor. Getting tastes of that heavenly drug is the daily driving force behind all of your actions. 

• What does frustration do to superego? 

  • Frustration adds to superego a bratty self-entitlement, fantastical idealization, and a reluctance to accept morally-prescribed solutions.

There are a few aspects there, so let me talk about each one.

First, the self-entitlement here shows up by morally justifying “deserve” statements, masquerading as “fairness.” “I deserve this because it’s right for me to have it. I want it, so it’s right for me to have it.” –as well as– “This is bad, and I don’t deserve this bad thing that is happening to me. I don’t want this to be happening, or I don’t deserve it, so therefore it must be inherently wrong. This is happening to me, so I must deserve it.” etc.

Then– idealism, as a key element of frustration, takes on a superego flair. An ideal world is a world that is good and right. I’m frustrated with this world because it is wrong. This often manifests in “should” statements–”It should be like this. It shouldn’t be how it is right now.” –and is why 1 arguably has the highest and most ridiculous standards of any type. Not only must they satisfy the whims of frustration, they also must satisfy strict moral rules about how their ideal world should be.

Last, I mentioned that frustration adds a reluctance to accept the morally-prescribed solutions of superego. Frustration prevents superego from fully committing and actualizing the superego’s demands. When frustration and superego collide, this “double-wrongness” becomes a paradox, so that this intersection exists as both a problem and a solution, like an ant death-spiral circling around and around in outrage while also refusing to step away.

“There is something disgusting, and I also proclaim it morally wrong, and I know the solution, but fixing it would absolve my frustration, so I refrain from fully fixing it, because what would I be without this inner churn of right and wrong?”

Gut + Frustration

• What does the gut do to frustration?

  • The gut provides a somatic ‘tuning fork’ to detect instances of frustration.

This intersection is very difficult for me to explain in words because it is a nonverbal, internal occurrence. I also imagine it is something that can’t be observed in real time by an outside viewer. Personally, I feel this located within my body just below my sternum. When I experience something that elicits frustration, I feel it there long before words or emotions ever come into the picture - it is a sort of twinge, a measurement, as the frequency of that experience resonates painfully out of tune with the internal standard. And when frustration is actually satisfied, in rare and short moments, that feeling of resonating perfectly in-tune is a high I can’t explain. This gut tuning fork can be incredibly subtle and precise, and feels extremely consistent, so it is the singlemost trustworthy faculty in the type 1 body. 

• What does frustration do to the gut?

  • Frustration conjures agonizing dissatisfaction felt viscerally within the gut regarding boundaries.

Frustration keeps the gut constantly on the defensive about its own boundaries, but rather than anticipating and amputating or deleting boundary threats in rejection like 8, or withdrawing and absorbing them in translucent attachment like 9, it actively seeks them out, stabs itself with them, and invites their wounding as “proof” of frustration. The gut is neurotically feeding, breeding, and idealizing anger in response. 

The gut finds its own boundaries by repeatedly and unconsciously seeking transgressions against them, then stiffening up in fury and saying “no.” You will know the body that protects you by narrowing away in fury and grief from every body that does not. Refining the gut - so that you are not an endless unbound ocean, but seeking sharper and sharper boundaries - found only by piercing yourself with the jagged wrongness outside of yourself and then angrily recoiling and refusing it. 

Everything that can touch me can be wrong. I am in this world but not of this world. Accepting something into my boundaries that is not ‘me’ is a violation.

There is a fragility in frustration that is often recognized in 4 and 7 but is much neglected in 1. Perhaps because this type has that strength of gut certainty, unlike the bodyless 4 or the high frequency scatter of 7 - but 1s too are living in the glass house of frustration. And it is incredibly difficult to exist in a world that repeatedly shatters your body. You still clearly recall the original ideal blueprint - how things were supposed to be - but find only decay and disgust here. Your body is a tremendously sensitive instrument, made for a perfect world, yet abducted by mortality and sent here and subjected to a constant barrage of traumatizing somatic violations.

…

Godly Antivillain Eldritch Being has departed.