get typed by gods

  • mary lydia

    active force

    positive rejection

    positive attachment

    positive frustration

  • sofie

    passive force

    reactive frustration

    competency rejection

    positive attachment

  • alex

    invisible force

    competency frustration

    reactive frustration

    competency rejection

ever mind the rule of three - what ye send out comes back to thee

🧿

ever mind the rule of three - what ye send out comes back to thee 🧿

you & us. three hearts in discord or concord. three hearts forming the most powerful shape of the enneagram’s sacred geometry: the law of three.

three forces, bound together. three forces to unveil your type.

if you wish to be perceived with more energy, more input, more potency, you found the gateway to your soul.

sofie, the thinking heart, will be your passive force, exacting the shape of your archetype with emotional reactivitity, amputating away all that isn’t real until the essence of your suffering is found.

mary lydia, the doing heart, will be your active force, sending her white blaze to illuminate the dark chambers of your soul, exposing you in your psychological nuditiy. like an infant, she will cradle you and build you back up to feel glorious about your slumbering potential.

alex, the feeling gut, will be your invisible force, softly pressing into your energy and boundaries with her omniscient tuning fork until she locates your churning frequency.

meet mary lydia & sofie on zoom 👁

meet mary lydia & sofie on zoom 👁

typing call with sofie & mary lydia

a typing session with us includes:

  • ~60 minute zoom call with a thinking & a doing heart, we won’t stop before we’ve confidently landed on your enneagram type, wing, trifix & instinctual drives

  • we will push into each of your centers of intelligence, your passions, your defense mechanisms and the hidden third force you were missing in your attempts to type yourself

  • recording of our call + hidden link on youtube

  • graphic with your structural typing details + your trifix archetype symbol

  • follow-up questions during your typing crisis on discord

  • after payment, you may send us collages, your cringe poetry or social media accounts or whatever you regard as relevant for your typology… or you may come as a blank slate

  • we will reach out to you via god mail or on discord to schedule our session

  • if you are eager to know & understand your personality prison, this option has a faster turnaround (usually within the week of booking)

  • mary lydia is trained in a variety of healing modalities and may offer new paths for you to work on your patterns

  • you will have the opportunity to ask about anything you want to understand better

  • you shall be the invisible force, our discovery

€90 EUR Introduction Price

typing video commentary & analysis with sofie & alex 🧿

typing video commentary & analysis with sofie & alex 🧿

video submission with sofie & alex

we watch, comment & dissect your typing video

includes:

  • questions for you to answer on video (will be sent to you after payment)

  • ~90 minute recording with commentary on your video by a thinking heart & a feeling gut, a trailer video & outro summing up your typing details + hidden youtube link

  • typing includes core + wing, trifix + ghost archetype + instinctual stacking

  • follow-up questions answered on discord by us & all willing gods when you have your typing crisis

what happens:

  • you record a 15-25 minute video submission

  • you may also submit your art, collages, your social media feed, or whatever you feel is relevant to your character - we will include these in our analysis

  • you send us an unlisted youtube link or wetransfer file after completing your video to your satisfaction

  • turnaround is roughly 7-21 days after we receive you, depending on demand. sometimes we may send you clarifying questions

  • if you seek to have your soul thoroughly stripped bare, broken down, and devoured by the fivemind - this option provides the personalized autopsy you never knew you desired

  • you will have time to process your result in solitude without feeling exposed or put on the spot

  • you shall be the active force, your heart on stage critiqued by snobby arbiters

€100 EUR Introduction Price

3rd step: Wait for your questions & start recording

FAQ

for the 6s

  • sofie, the thinking heart, will use her 5 brain knife to dissect your trifix into its structural bits. if you have a lot of questions or want clarification on certain aspects, she’s your passive force. she’s also your mandatory god, so deal with that.

    mary lydia, the doing heart, will lift you up and send her gaze to lighten up your core. she is a kind, loving and strict mommy, educated in lots of healing modalities. if you need extra reassurance and a little magical fairy dust, get her active force on the call.

    alex, the eldritch feeling gut, will energetically assess your type + vibe with her godly tuning fork. her separated 5 head will hover over your video and coldly judge your character. if you want her bad hexy to give you shivers, she is the invisible force to have in your typing video submission.

  • too bad. no refunds.

  • if you cancel last minute, you better have good reason to do so (an elaborate story will appease us more than a pity party).

    if you change your mind after purchasing but before our call, we don’t offer refunds. gods are greedy and deserve their little treats!

    if you ghost, then god will keep your money. how lucky for us!

  • you may not! we provide our enneagoblins with a typing crisis service in our discord for all your upcoming questions. if you want to have a back & forth, at least other gods will learn something. we won’t be sending endless mails to you.

    you may also book a follow-up for more elaborate questions you still have.

  • no one is “qualified” to type, but we are the best option you have. centers of intelligence & the law of three are the oracle bones of our process.

  • your best option is to join our discord server via patreon for €2-5/month. you can post a typing video and let our many brilliant gods and lower demigods have a shot. you won’t receive an official typing but the feedback can be illuminating.

    on discord we have monthly draws among the sugar goblins. the winner will pick an untyped god to be typed by sofie or the gods. be interesting enough, maybe you’re lucky.

  • reach us at enneagod@gmail.com